Life Coach Caird Urquhart Shares Five Tips To Keep Your Kids Out of Her Office When They’re in Their Twenties

I had the pleasure of meeting life coach Caird Urquhart at a press event last October and I was very impressed by her down-to-earth approach to life, work and family. We chatted recently and she very generously agreed to share her knowledge with Mommy Kat and Kids readers through this fabulous article. We all want our children to grow up to be confident, independent adults. Here are Caird’s top five tips for making that happen!

caird urquhart photo

1. Be a mother not a friend

Too often I see parents bend over backwards to be “liked” by their children. Let’s not confuse like with love. To be a loving parent doesn’t always mean you need to be liked. I remember when I was little I had a friend whose mom would let us do whatever we wanted. We even got to draw on the walls in one room in their house. At that time I thought how lucky she was to have such a cool mom. Fast forward ten years. I ran into her one night at a then common teenage hangout and found out she was living in a home for wayward youth. That was the first time I was glad my mother hadn’t been my friend growing up. The kicker for me on this subject came more recently when I was discussing with someone whether they should buy alcohol for their 17-year-old daughter. She wanted to take something to a party she was going to. Since when did being a parent equate with dropping off little brown bags to your kids? I’m no prude but I draw the line on breaking the law as a way to win over your child’s affection. [Read more...]

Sunday Inspirational Quote-Shine

picture quote nelson mandela

Original photo art.

Happiness is a Dirty Mirror

Do you ever have those days when you just look and feel fabulous? Your hair is behaving, you’re wearing an outfit that you love and your self-esteem is through the roof? If you need those days more often, do I ever have a secret for you! Whatever you do…don’t dust your mirrors!

rose coloured glassesI discovered this trick a few days ago. I was glancing in my bedroom mirror as I passed by and I realized that I looked really, really good! My hair framed my face perfectly, my skin looked smooth and flawless and my eyes were bright and sparkling. I grinned, primped and totally enjoyed it; it’s always nice to realize that you look good without having gone to any special effort!

The next day, I had the same experience. I was thrilled, but also a little surprised. I hadn’t put on any makeup or even brushed my hair yet! And it was then that I realized that it was the slight layer of dust that was currently covering the mirror that was making me look so darn good! Basically, it softened my features. Imperfections in my skin and fine lines were no longer visible. My slightly dirty hair looked clean and perfect. My dusty mirror had become my own personal airbrush artist!

The experience got me thinking about the way us women look at the world sometimes. For the most part, our gazes tend to be squeaky-clean. We view our surroundings and ourselves with all the harshness of an overly bright florescent light bulb. And when we do, we realize that there are imperfections in almost everything, especially ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, we need a slight layer of dust over our gazes. With a softened view of the world, we may see that all those glaring imperfections are no longer even visible. We might find that we look downright gorgeous and that the world around us does too. Maybe those rose-coloured glasses aren’t such a farfetched concept after all.

Self-esteem isn’t about attaining perfection. It’s about feeling good about yourself, your environment and your life in general. You don’t have to work your butt off to reach that point. You don’t have to stress about your appearance, your kids’ behaviour or the state of your house. It’s really just a matter of perception. All you need to do is airbrush your view of the world.

You’ll be amazed by how wonderful your life really is when you look at it through a slight layer of dust!

Share and Shine

If there is one thing that I absolutely love, it’s learning new things. I love it so much that it almost doesn’t matter what I’m learning as long as I’m learning something. And thanks to the Information Revolution, I can usually find out about anything I choose with just a few quick keywords. Yes…I am a total Google diva.

Liza Donnelly self esteem cartoonI love the fact that information about any topic is so easy to find and I am incredibly grateful that so many people took the time to share all their learning just so that other people could benefit from it. So when I see other women hiding tidbits of knowledge to themselves, it makes me think…

I believe knowledge is meant to be shared. It doesn’t matter what the knowledge is. If somebody can benefit from it, it should be passed along. But I didn’t always believe that. There was a time when I guarded my knowledge more fiercely than a Doberman guards a junkyard.

The memory that comes back to me most often is one from high school when I happened to bring a homemade snack for my lunch. I shared it with my friends and one of them mentioned that she would love to have the recipe. I smiled politely, but the only thought in my head was, “No WAY am I giving out my recipe!!”

That’s something I would never do today. After all, if I give somebody the instructions for making the same dish, does that make the dish I create any less delicious? But thinking about that time got me thinking about WHY I had been so unwilling to share my knowledge.

And the answer to that question, I soon realized, was my lack of self-esteem. I didn’t believe that I had any value. So when somebody expressed a desire for something that I knew, for something that I HAD, I felt validated. Even if I didn’t have any value, something I knew was valuable and if I kept that knowledge to myself, then nobody else would have that little grain of value that I had. Sure, I might be worthless. But I knew something that wasn’t worthless and if I was the only one that knew it then that was almost the same as me being worth something myself.

Getting over that crippling lack of self-esteem wasn’t easy. It took lots of effort, lots of tribulation and, yes, lots of learning. Today I am proud to say that I am a strong and self-confident woman and as a result, I am not only willing to share knowledge with others, I am happy to do so. In fact, if somebody asks me a question that I can’t answer, I will go and find the answer for them if I possibly can! I love helping others and I’m so glad that I’ve grown to become the type of woman that can do so without a second thought.

Wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place if everybody did the same? If we could ask anybody anything and know that they would be willing to answer, or maybe even help us find the answer? Wouldn’t the blogosphere be a better place? I like to think that the blog community is, by nature, a community that shares more freely. After all, we share our stories and ourselves on our blogs each and every day! But every once in a while I notice a return to that mindset that I saw so much of in high school, a comment or a conversation that practically screams, “Well, if you don’t know then I’m not going to tell you!” And it breaks my heart because I know that the motivation behind the attitude is that old enemy of so many women in the world, low self-esteem.

So how can a woman rid herself of that fear, that prevalent, horrifying fear that she isn’t good enough?

It isn’t easy.

But it isn’t hard either.

What worked for me was constantly telling myself that I was a wonderful person. I told myself again and again and again. When you repeat something like that long enough, it becomes a reality. But it takes time. And it takes work. And when you’re feeling depressed, hurt or inadequate, telling yourself something like that is difficult. But when you do it enough, you really do become the person you keep telling yourself you are.

And when that happens, you realize that your worth doesn’t come from what you look like, what you have or even what you know. In the end, your worth is maybe just measured by whether or not you shine a little bit more light into the world.

Let’s light up the world together. We all have gifts we can share, if we’re not afraid to share them.

And when we do…we all shine.

Holiday Gift Guide-Best Foot Forward Big Bully and U R Some 1 CDs-Giveaway

Holiday Gift for Children

With low self-esteem being such a huge issue nowadays, any gift that helps to boost confidence is a wise choice, especially for school-aged children. Empowering children through music is the mission of the Recess Music Best Foot Forward series and the two discs in the collection, Big Bully and U R Some 1, are a great way to encourage positive thoughts and actions for children.

recess music big bully cover

Big Bully features 15 songs that deal with interactions between children. I really appreciated all the songs about how to deal with negative people and situations. It’s a sad fact that every child will eventually encounter another child who will make them feel bad about themselves, but having positive information so that kids are ready to deal with the problem can be so important. Just knowing why a bully acts the way they do and being assured that telling an adult is the proper decision can be hugely beneficial to a child.

U R Some 1 is the newest CD in the Best Foot Forward collection and contains twelve songs that emphasise children valuing themselves. From songs about their senses to ones about their brains, the focus of the CD is very much on the fact that everyone is different and that’s what makes them special. Children can sometimes feel very discouraged when they feel unimportant and the CD is such a fun way of reminding children how valuable and special they truly are.

recess music u r some 1 cover

Both CDs have an upbeat folk-rock style that kids are sure to enjoy, and parents will certainly appreciate the useful subject matter of the songs. Either of the CDs in the Best Foot Forward collection would make a great gift or stocking-stuffer for preschool-aged children and older. The albums can be purchased at Amazon.com in either digital or CD form. Check out the discs for yourself and give the gift of empowerment and music at the same time.

ARV: $13.41 each

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