BlogWest 2012-Speaking on the Monetization Panel

Thanks to my fabulous sponsor Skinfix, I recently attended the first-ever Western Canadian blog conference: BlogWest 2012. I knew almost immediately upon my return that one post wouldn’t be appropriate for sharing the event, since for me the event had three major highlights. I’ve decided to cover each one of them in a separate post; my first post is about my experience speaking on the Monetization Panel.

When I was given the opportunity to speak on the Monetization Panel at BlogWest 2012, I was completely thrilled. I made a lot of mistakes when I first started blogging and I was so excited about being able to share some of them so that other bloggers could benefit. I was also nervous, but I dealt with that by just pushing it out of my mind.

And that worked absolutely perfectly until the morning of our panel. That’s when the nervousness really hit hard. Fear sat in the bottom of my stomach like a lead weight. I took some deep breaths and forced myself to look calm and confident. I smiled a lot, talked about how excited I was and did everything I could to ensure my nervousness was known only to me. When I sat down moments before the panel started, I had already decided that I would contribute as much as I could because I really didn’t want to appear silenced by fear.

So the panel began. I didn’t stutter. My voice didn’t shake. I was told afterwords that I had looked and sounded confident and professional. I said most of the things I wanted to say and forgot a few points that I wish I had remembered. But overall, I’m pretty sure I did a darn good job.

blogwest monetization panel
Speaking with Melissa Vroon, Nicole Christen, Cora Brady and Julie Van Rosendaal (Source: This Bird's Day)

And then the panel ended. And I waited for the flood of relief to hit me now that the panel was over….

And it never came.

Instead, I think I actually felt worse. That lead weight in my stomach was even heavier. Because it was done now. And if I had said anything people didn’t like or didn’t agree with, there was nothing I could do. It was over. That was that.

I gradually did fight away that “after-nervousness.” And when it had finally retreated and I was feeling like my usual chipper and outspoken self again, I asked myself, “Will I do this again? I know if I do it long enough, I’ll become comfortable with it. But is it worth the agony and insecurity I’ll feel in the meantime every time I stand up to speak?”

And part of me screamed, “NO!! Absolutely not! You proved your point! You NEVER, EVER have to do it again!”

But after that first reaction, I thought back to when I was afraid to be videotaped, and how completely natural and comfortable I am on video now. I thought back further to when I first started blogging and I was so uncertain about it that I considered just posting other people’s buttons so that I could get bonus giveaway entries without actually ever having to write anything myself. I thought back even further, to a time when I was so shy that I was scared to even reply to somebody if they said, “Hello.”

And I thought about how I conquered all those fears. I didn’t do it by thinking about that voice screaming, “No!” in my head. I didn’t do it by thinking at all.

I did it by blindly leaping into anything that I had decided was interesting. I did it by shutting off my brain and blocking out the doubts, insecurities and fears that were running rampant inside my head. I did it by doing, I did it by pretending that I loved doing it, and I did it again and again and again until I actually felt as comfortable as I looked whether I was meeting a new person or shooting a promotional video.

And I’ll be darned if I’m not going to do it with public speaking too. So when the opportunity presents itself, I WILL dive in again and I will do it until I have mastered it; until I am as comfortable on a stage as I am in the audience.

Having made this decision, I know I have some uncomfortable days ahead of me. But will it be worth it?

There’s not a doubt in my mind.

22 thoughts on “BlogWest 2012-Speaking on the Monetization Panel”

  1. Congratulations, that’s not an easy thing to do and you seem to really on the right track. It’s wonderful that you are so willing to share your knowledge and help others who are struggling. Great post, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and look forward to hearing more details of the BlogWest Conference!

    1. Thank you so much, Monica! I have to confess, I hesitated before I hit that publish button; I thought I might just be shooting myself in the foot for future gigs by actually admitting I was (gasp!) nervous about this! lol I decided it would be worth it to let people know they can do it too, so I’m super glad you enjoyed it! :)

    1. Thanks Nicole! You did too; I LOVED speaking with you! It was so wonderful to spend time with you and your little Blog Conference Princess again! :)

    1. That is so great to hear, Heather! That was my one goal; I loathe going to a session hoping to get some solid information and just getting vague ideas!

  2. I remember how terrified I was to speak at sccto but at least you know this topic a hundred times over and have so much to contribute! I bet you were fabulous!

    1. Thanks Jen! I definitely felt great once I had decompressed a bit, but I couldn’t believe how tense I still was afterwords! lol I did get to share lots though; hurray! :)

  3. One of my favourite quotes (unfortunately, I don’t know who to attribute it to): “Action conquers fear.” Sounds like you are on the right path!

  4. Much love to you my friend. I sooo enjoyed meeting you this past weekend and have no doubt that you will conquer this speaking in public fear in no time!

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